Failure.
We passed the two months out date for the LA marathon, last year at this time I was running consistently over 20 miles a week and typically 5 days a week. In October of 2018 I set myself a goal to run the LA marathon again in 2019 and shave off 30 minutes from my time. But things happen, well intentioned goals fall to the way side. As of this past week I only averaged between 5-10 miles per week, and ran only 2 times a week in January. I have made the decision to not register and run this year.
I failed to meet my goal. While I don’t doubt that I will complete my goal of running a marathon at or under 4 hours, right now I am learning that even failing to meet a good goal can actually be a gift (an act of grace). It is a humbling experience to come up short, it takes risk and courage to continue to reach for big dreams when we have failed before.
In this moment of failure, I have been given the chance to let go of control — of something I put a fair amount of my identity into — and depend on God. Failure has given me the capacity and space to ask the question: how can I honor God in my life today? I am reminded of just how frail and undisciplined I can be and just how thankful I am saved by Jesus’ obedience and not my own merits of obedience.
Might failure be a spiritual discipline?
Credit goes to my good friend Zac Luben for suggesting I develop a personal theology of failure.
Grace and Peace,
Lars
